Tuesday, March 2, 2010

This bird’s got her bitch on

For some reason, I had my bitch on today. If you know me, you know it’s not like me. Although I don’t often complain or post about negative feelings, I’m saying it like it is today.

Look at this female cardinal, though. Doesn’t she look mad? She looks like somebody’s taking too long at the feeder and she wants to get in there. Like NOW!

And speaking of food and feeders . . .

DSC_0112 copy 2

After yesterday’s indulgence of macaroni & cheese, and then some pound cake for dessert, I wanted to start the week off right when I arrived at school this morning. And what happened was that a giant cake was brought in for one of the teacher’s birthdays. It was huge and was made by a woman who excels in cake making and decorating and it was simply beautiful, a half chocolate/half vanilla sheet cake that was twice as thick as a normal sheet cake, with layers in the center that had icing.

It pissed me off immediately.

And I did my best to ignore it.

I work in the main office of a school and it is the drop-off place for All Things Decadent, making it very difficult to constantly maintain my willpower. I can’t stand it sometimes and today was just one of those days. Oh, I had some cake. After listening to other teachers rave about it, I had some of the damn cake. And spent the rest of the day cleaning up around it because what a mess a large cake makes. And really, I can’t stand the mess.

Then I came home and listened as my husband gave me a heart-to-heart talk about my weight after I told him about the cake. He wasn’t being mean, but it hurt. When I got sick back in October, I lost 20 pounds. I looked good and I felt good. But I’ve gained half of it back. And Lord knows, the weight thing is a universal sore subject so I’ll quit now.

But I still feel like I’ve got my bitch on. And for that, I’m sorry.

But only a little.

To change the subject, I picked up the cool effect for this photo from Shadowhouse Creations. Tomorrow will be a better day. I just know it.

Love,

57 comments:

Country Girl said...

It was my fault I ate the fattening foods in the first place. I'm just cranky is all.

~ C.G.

BUSH BABE said...

Oh hugs to you... am in exactly the same boat. My hubby has stopped with the 'you'd don't look fat' and started with the 'well then you need to do something about it'. *sigh* I want my old metabolism back!!

Adore, adore, adore these new 'frames'.
:-)
BB

ejm said...

Hey don't worry about being cranky.
we all have those days. Tomorrow's a new day. I wouldn't be able to resist cake either! put your jammies on and go to bed! that's what I do . :) I just recently found your blog. I am loving it. Thank you.

Carolynn said...

I came straight over here from Caroline's blog, Constantly Evolving, specifically to tell you that you ARE beautiful AND talented AND funny. Killer combination. Don't you doubt it for a second.

Men, sweeties that they can be most of the time, can also be profoundly insensitive. Telling a woman she's gaining weight is akin to telling a man he has a small penis. Best not to go there.

Ellen said...

Isn't it great that you can vent on your blog and no one gets insulted?

Hope tomorrow is a better day.

Barb said...

we all have these days....Barb

Deb said...

tomorrow will be a better day...love the photo...

Gail said...

Every one deserves to blow off a little steam.

I would be mad if my hubby had a heart to heart about my weight, there are just some things you don't touch on and that is one.

Don't beat yourself up, what happens will happen and is meant to be. Tomorrow is a new day. I hear they are bringing cookies!

Sharon said...

I am sorry you had to eat that cake for me. I promise to pick up the phone next time you call. :)

I could NOT satisfy my hunger cravings today. It's
not PMS nor ovulation. I have just gotten into a bad cycle and cannot get out. I would have eaten half of the sheet cake (vanilla) and then looked for ice cream.

Luckily, there isn't much in this house to snack on. And I was too lazy to shower & get dressed to go to the store.

Though tomorrow I will be going out. Oh no...

{Simply} Heather said...

I'm with you on this one, Kate...yeah.

I can't get Jerry's png's to work for me, I don't understand why but they just won't. I'm going to try to figure it out when I get an opportunity.

I love that look on your birdy's face though...oh boy, I know that look; think I probably saw it in the mirror while passing by today :)

My Farmhouse Kitchen said...

yeah..we all have those days...

and yep...my green font is a loser...it was my second time posting that..the first time something went wrong so i just went as is..it was bad :-{

i hope you have a better day tomorrow

kary

Low Tide High Style said...

We all have days like this and don't let your weight rule your world. Your worth is not measured by the size of your waist but by the size of your heart! So you're good as gold in my book!

And to quote Miss Scarlett, "Tomorrow is another day!"

Kat :)

Ann On and On... said...

Tomorrow will be a better day and I think it is o.k. to get your grumpy out... We all have those days. Stupid birthdays (hee hee)

Karen said...

Oh, when you reach this age I think we've all got an issue with weight, and now and then it's actually good to get your bitch on.

Love that photo... great frame and what a face.. reminds me of one of my favorite photos..I think it's called Mad bluebird. I'm sure you've seen it.

Brynwood Needleworks said...

Kate:
I loved this post. Don't we all get cranky when we're not where we'd like to be - whether it's weight, will power or attitude. I agree with Bush Babe...I want my old metabolism back, too!
Hugs and encouragement coming your way, my dear.
xoxo
Donna

These Nine Acres said...

One would think that one would lose weight when one can only eat soft foods, wouldn't one?

Not when the foods are mashed potatoes, pudding, jello, soft bread, and other very fattening things.

I am right there with you.

And tomorrow will be a better day.

Char said...

((hugs)) i know honey. i know.

anytime you want to vent, it's all good

Caroline said...

God love ya!!! I am chuckling at this post and about that damn cake!! Well, I will tell you...you are one beautiful gal. We just have to get over our silly shit about body image don't we (sorry to swear btw...). But seriously, let's eat the damn cake and quite feeling miserable about it. I am just tired of not liking myself. Tired of it. Cuz...really, who is looking at me with a magnifying glass? ME! And no one else. Women are too hard on themselves. Any man would eat that cake and not worry a minute if it were going to his hips. Just sayin'

Sorry for the rant... But I feel better now. I think I will eat some more girl scout cookies!

xo

myletterstoemily said...

sorry you had a bad day...with the cake and
all. those cakes are just out to get us!

i wonder if it is as hard to quit smoking or
shooting up as it is to stop eating really
yummy treats?

tomorrow is a new day.

ha ha, my word verification is 'macon' to rhyme
with bacon, one of the only foods i can always
resist!

Cheryl said...

Oh hubby knows better than to say something about my weight. I will make him suffer with healthy foods!

On a diet and lost 30 lbs so far, doing it for myself!

Love the pic, as I so all your shots!

Annie said...

Just loving that photo Kate! Hope you have a better day tomorrow.

Have been ordered to rest by the doc. Bother. I could get used to it, if I didn't have so much to catch up on! Especially since it is raining raining raining! Good time for curling up reading a book I think.

Andi said...

You are entitled to cranky now and again!! :) That cardinal certainly has that "don't mess with me " look on her face. maybe that is the face you need for your hubby. :)

Mental P Mama said...

My running tights hurt today. Running. Tights. You are golden!!!! And you are a Goddess!!!!!

Ronald Rabenold said...

Love it. Great shot.

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

A few things:

1. Yes, that cardinal does look mad, and very likely with VERY good reason.

2. There was a full moon last night and today, and that makes us all foul fowl.

3. After four thousand months of cold, drab, darkness in which the only splash of color is the glare off the white snow, we all get a little out of sorts. And it makes us want to eat and sleep. Forever.

4. If there is a choice between returning to the drudgery of work and eating--FOR EXAMPLE-- a GODIVA chocolate CUPCAKE that someone lays on your desk today, well dammit, we're not protecting state secrets here and there's no need for this sort of torture by saying no. JUST EAT THE DAMN CHOCOLATE WITH THE PERFECTLY INCREDIBLE PINK FROSTING. Thank you.

5.Men *can be* pigs. That's all I have to say about that.

The End.

p.s. Forgive the commenter for being both (a) defensive and (b) sympathetic to her female friend and (c) not so much for the male in the story, even though she the commenter has not met him but by virtue of the fact he's male, well, enough said.

wv: deroof. Deroof, deroof, deroof is on fire. We don't give a @@@@ let the mmmfff burn.

Thank you I feel better now.

TSannie said...

Must be in the air...cranky can't even come close to adequately describing me today. And my glass is just about always half full. Just about.

ELK said...

i love those cakes . i have no will power against them . deep breath . better day tomorrow Kate

Hilary said...

I think we are talking about the same damn 20 lbs. I try to exercise, and walk, and my knee hurts. I try to diet, my stomach kills me........I try to accept my body with the additional 20lbs, and I just get more pissed off.
I hear ya, Kate.

A New England Life said...

Oh yeah, the Cardinal looks pissed alright. Things just aren't going as planned. Spring can't get here soon enough ... for the both of you!

Maybe once the weather is warmer you'll be more inspired to go for a nice afternoon walk when you get home from work. The nice thing about our schools is that they don't allow cakes, cookies, or any of that stuff anymore! Maybe you should move. Hmmm....

Can you believe neither of us had a picture chosen by PW? Me either.

Stickhorsecowgirls said...

I work at a school too so I know the constant temptation in the teacher's lounge! I also battle the middle age pudge--so this is what I've decided- A little self acceptance is due! Now I don't want to be unhealthy so I've decided that for most meals I will eat natural and healthy food - I'm really trying to eliminate processed foods. Fri. there were some grocery store bakery cookies in the lounge. I bit into one and it wasn't good - I thought- do I want to waste my calories on a dud of a cookie? I spit that bite out into a napkin and threw it away. Now later in the day when we celebrated a birthday, I DID eat a good sized piece of a great cake! Yummm-I didn't feel guilty, but I did not eat any more bread that day.

Donalyn said...

Dude - seriously? You talked to her about her weight? Wow. Sleep with one eye open, is my advice. :)

Sweetpea said...

It's been WINTER for geeshfreakinsakes and we've ALL pudged out because of it. SOOOO WHUUUT!!!! Poundage will fade away as soon as we're out & about in some decent weather for a change. geesh.

I can put my own bitch on pretty fast, I guess...

Flea said...

You absolutely crack me up. Tomorrow's another, better day.

Riet said...

Of course tomorrow will be a better day and when you read this it has already started better, right? We all are mad at ourselves when we eat things that we shouldn't , we are human. And don't worry, you still have these 10 pounds lost.

Ann Marie said...

Yup she looks about as pissed as I am that after ranting all day about my large rear end I ended up drinking three glasses of wine and pigging out at a friends cause she had made WONDERFUL party eats.

gggrrrrr

Christine said...

I can totally relate to that bird. And I hear ya, oh do I ever hear ya. If I could just lose ten pounds...*sigh*

Nurse Nancy said...

There must have been something in the air yesterday as this was a feeling I encountered across the board....including me. Hope today is better for all!

CarlaHR said...

If you enjoyed that piece of cake, then it was worth it. We all have days when we are disappointed in ourselves and today is a new day and a new beginning,

Sandra said...

Sounds like, lately, you've been taking care of other people too much and ignoring yourself. Thus the slip into too many calories. When I overindulge in -anything- I remind myself, "moderation in all things" and this is not a lifestyle mistake, this is a today mistake." Go easy on yourself, sounds like someone needs to -smile-.

The Japanese Redneck said...

I love that picture. That birdie sure knows how to give a look.

I'm always on a diet. The end of the year always un does anything good I've done all year long.

I started back dieting in Feb. Lost 6.5 lbs so far. My brother comes in from off shore and says "you lost any more weight"? I've lost one pound last week. "That's all?" I'm happy with 1 lb. "You been cheating?" No. "Well how come you've only lost 1 lb?"

this goes on and on and he even asks me anytime I put something if it's on my diet. I've started calling him the diet police.....

ro said...

Dear Kate,
You had to start with food????? I have put on so much weight since moving to Texas and I seem to have lost all my motivation to do anything. I could write forever on my loss of motivation!!!! But no one wants to hear that crap. Sorry!!! Hope you have a great week Kate. Thanks for sharing. Hugs and Kisses

Debbie said...

When you know you have the extra weight and it bothers you ~ even the kindest words spoken about it can be irritating.

I like what you did with Jerry's frame....very nice. And Ms. Cardinal does look a bit angry! :)

Daryl said...

Here's my advice .. enjoy life, its too short to not have cake

BUT

IF you increase the protein while decreasing the sugar you will lose weight ... eating salads does not burn fat .. protein does ... and walk more .. remember how much you were walking back then?

And listen to me .. you are wonderful just the way you are!

beth said...

LOL.....I've made that same face that the cardinal is wearing more than a few times....

and oh the cake....I know, I hear you.....arghhhh !

Talia said...

Hugs your way! Please be gentle with yourself. You write so beautifully and your photos, well, they are stunning. I would do anything to possess such talent.

Don't worry about having an off day. We all do and it feels good to get it off your chest.

Oh, eat the dang cake and enjoy every bite. Life is short...

Talia said...

Hugs your way! Please be gentle with yourself. You write so beautifully and your photos, well, they are stunning. I would do anything to possess such talent.

Don't worry about having an off day. We all do and it feels good to get it off your chest.

Oh, eat the dang cake and enjoy every bite. Life is short...

Bella Della said...

I am so with you. Last week was my bosses bday. I brought him a single, lonely cupcake. I didn't want a huge cake in here. I have zero willpower!

Hugs,
Kim

Oliag said...

Ugh!...I'm still in vacation eating mode which means I'm eating every thing that looks good and delicious...and my body is showing it...I need to get back from vacation:)...why is it so much harder at my age now?

Love the effect you used on this photo!

Jayne said...

LOL... LOVE Mrs. Cardinal's expression! The only way I've found works for me is to choose to be fully sober from these things. Truly, I know that if I go down that path, it's a really slippery slope. Detoxing was a bitch, but it is easy once you get your body used to not having the sugar. I'm serious when I say that I treat it as an addictive behavior. One bite is too many, and one hundred bites are not enough for me. I feel your pain.

Linda Higgins said...

ok, I just loved your post today! and weight, hey, every time I go shopping and come home with fat clothes I get mad...mad as hell...but then again when I snuggle with one of my grand babies and remember my beautiful mother, (I am looking more and more like her) I just have to smile. What the heck, cake is there to ENJOY and what would I have to write about if it were not for my 4 year old grand daughter asking me (when we were swimming and I was in my grandma one piece) if I was P R E G AAAA N AAAA N T? i JUST HAD TO LAUGH! oh well!!!!!

Marla said...

I totally understand being cranky... I just blame it on being hormonal. :)

I hope today went better.

just jill said...

I'm sure what I am about to write has probably already been mentioned, but I don't have the time to go through all the comments...anyhoo....don't beat yourself up over it, the bottom line is you enjoyed it and that's the way it's supposed to be!! The days of less temptation will be there for you. (At least that's the way I justify those days!)

Lisa said...

I've been working on my fitness level for nearly 3 months & I think I'm doing pretty good, I haven't lost much weight, but my body shape seems to be changing & I'm feeling better about myself. Was looking forward to a recent family event to see what feedback ( read compliments!! here) I would get...I got NOTHING!! & then my husband was told how great he is looking, had he lost weight?!!! NO HE HAS NOT!!! Grrrrr!!!!

I'm still excersising but here's the thing, if I want to eat cake THEN I WILL!! Because it does wonders for my face...you see, when I'm running & boxing & doing stupid weights, I grimace & sweat & grunt & frown...but when I eat cake I SMILE!!! & I feel good & I look better when I smile!
Hope tomorrow is a better day!
Leese x

Deb said...

Wow! You have become so popular! Nicely done!

Since we are sharing, I gained 20 pounds back of the 30 that I lost. I hate myself for that. But, what are you gonna do?

Don't beat yourself up. One piece of cake will not end the world.

Noe Noe Girl...A Queen of all Trades. said...

I wont even go into detail with my lack of control on the mac and cheese. And we all are entitled to bitch, just cuz we can!
love u kate!
NNG

Donna S. said...

I can relate. I have to blame my weight gain on "age & hormones". I've always been pretty skinny & now in my 50's am 20-30 lbs overweight. I fought it for a while but it is too much of a battle for that amount. Hopefully it doesn't get worst!!! Sometimes it is what it is!!

And you can have a cranky day if you want. I've kind of had a cranky winter this year!!

big hair envy said...

This post (and comments) has actually made me feel better. I thought I was the only person dealing with being cranky and 20 pounds overweight! Thanks, Kate:) It's like a support group in here!!!