When I wrote the title for yesterday’s post, I had no idea at the time that I’d be doing version #2, and that version #2 was the dark side.
Based upon comments, readers of this blog come here for many reasons, one of the largest being the peaceful feeling they get when they open my page. So I’m not about to blow you all out of the water by complaining about my life.
But it is a much different perspective than yesterday’s post.
It began with a tree coming down in the driveway you see here. Our driveway is 1/3 mile long and runs through a large section of wooded area, but so far we’ve only had two trees down since we moved here just over a year ago. I think that’s pretty good odds. I also thought it was pretty fortunate that my husband was in the car this morning, as he was driving me to work because of an appointment we had for him later in the afternoon.
It wasn’t my fault that the tree went down where it did, but I want you to know that it was my fault that there was hardly any gas in the car when my husband started it up to warm up this morning. I must have done some other things to set him off, and the tree was the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back.
I don’t expect him to embrace the fact that I tend to let the gas tank go to empty before I fill it, but I do expect him to accept this fact. I have always been this way and it works for me. I have come to accept many annoying things about him, so that’s all I have to say about that.
I found out this morning that I care much more about my hair than I do about filling up the car. That I suck when it comes to money. That I hate cooking. That I’m very inconsistent. I don’t know what else he said because at this point, I went to my happy place and there were bluebirds singing and bunny rabbits hopping.
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It continued into the afternoon when life threw me another curve and the appointment was changed to a different place at a different time. So there was more yelling. I want you to know some more things I learned about me while driving to the appointment. I can find every single pothole and bump in the road from here to kingdom come, and I also take the most moronic route to get to my destination. I don’t know how to drive and I get ‘out of control’ when I see one of the parents at school running a stop sign and almost hitting my car.
Just so’s you know who you’re dealing with here. Sometimes I just suck.
My husband and I live from MRI to MRI. His brain is scanned every two months for tumor recurrence and has been for the past five years. And today was scan day.
It just gets old sometimes. And if it does for me, I can’t imagine how it makes him feel.
So it ain’t all sweetness and light over here. And please don’t comment and tell me I don’t suck. I know I really don’t. I just get sick of it all.
And I’m sure I’ll be back to normal tomorrow. Besides, it’s always been easy for me to find my happy place.