Saturday, August 7, 2010

Scary bird

George the border collie got a souvenir from Maine last week. My husband bought him a stuffed bird from the gift shop on Cadillac Mountain at Acadia National Park. We visited there early last Friday and took a walk around the trails at the top of the mountain, stopping afterward at the gift shop for coffee and for a look around.

This isn’t just any stuffed bird. It’s an Audubon real-life sound peregrine falcon and George is almost afraid of it.

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To listen to the cry of a peregrine falcon, click here and scroll down to 'Calls'. Warning: turn down your speakers. I cannot stress this enough. Our stuffed bird has 3 seconds of screech, then a pause, then 3 seconds more. And believe me, it’s more than enough.

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Even in the store, George was wary of this new gift. He really didn’t want to have anything to do with him while we were in Maine.

Fast forward to this week and we find George preferring the scary bird over all the others from the toy box. I’ve been calling it scary bird when I play with him and when he chooses the bird from among the other toys in the box, he picks it up very very gently. I think that he finds the screech as annoying as I do.

But let’s get back to the story.

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Last night, my husband and I were sitting in the living room watching Wipe Out and suddenly George wakes up and wants to play. Yes, we watch Wipe Out. It’s our secret obsession. Well, I guess it’s not so secret anymore, but any show that makes my husband laugh out loud is The Best Thing Evah in my book, so we watch the show every night it’s on. And well, here’s how the whole toy conversation went down:

(Aren’t you glad you come here? A thrill a minute, I tell you.)

HIM: George, go get your Paraguay falcon.

George looks at my husband, turns his head to the side and begins wagging his tail.

HIM: George, go get your Paraguay falcon.

George continues to look at my husband, still wagging the tail and waiting.

ME: Um, honey. I don’t think he calls it that.

HIM: Yes he does. We’ve been tossing it around this week. (Repeats the order).

George continues to look confused yet there’s a hopeful glimmer in his eyes. He has no idea what toy his master is asking for.

ME: Well, maybe he knows that it’s not a Paraguay falcon and that it’s really a peregrine falcon.

HIM: He knows what it is.

ME: It’s a peregrine falcon. Per-a-grin falcon.

HIM: Yeah. What I said. A Paraguay falcon.

ME: George, go get your scary bird.

George runs over to the toy, picks it up gently, trots back to me and deposits the toy in my lap.

ME: It’s scary bird. Just call it that, honey.

And so christens the new toy. They all must have names, you know. A border collie has a huge vocabulary but you have to keep at it.

As I write these words, I wonder where in heaven’s name my mind has gone to be writing this kind of drivel for all to see and sharing pictures of what amounts to be chewed dog toys.

I may need help.

48 comments:

Jan said...

This is hilarious! I am sitting here laughing out loud.

The Wife of a Dairyman said...

Very cute! And boy is George ever a smart boy!

Thoughtfully blended hearts said...

So funny...so welcome to the world of us deranged types...I'd rather read about and look at George than almost anything in the news these days...at least I can smile at George!!!

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

Wherever it is that your mind has gone, I'm waiting there with a bowl of popcorn, except I have to wait to eat it because otherwise I'll choke from laughter.

The Paraguay falcon is just priceless. You can't make this stuff up. Embrace it!

Nancy's Notes said...

Oh my, that is just way too cute! Gotta love George!

Nancy

Amongst The Oaks said...

You are so cute. (And not at all deranged.) And that George - why he's a genius!
Don't you just love the Cornell Bird site? I have it as one of my favorites.

JackDaddy said...

You have a toy with stuffing that lasts more than one night! I'm very impressed! :)

Hilary said...

NO, you do NOT need help....only if I do....and I know that I don't ...so there.

Marilyn said...

Well Kate, What does it say about US, who sat and read every word and enjoyed the heck out of it? It says you write good and we listen even gooder...you know anything about George is well received....that dog is so clever... it must be because he is from Maine. :)

Gail said...

Love it! It is wonderful having such a smart dog. I fear sometimes my Border is smarter than me.

Brynwood Needleworks said...

Hilarious!
Kes has a duck-duck, a squirrel, a "little" squirrel, a pheasant and a "swimming toy". She knows which one is mandatory for heading out to the pool. And, when I give her a command that Handsome doesn't think she knows...and she obeys...it freaks him out. (He mutters something about a "lucky, snarky bitch" and I don't think he's talking about the dog!) lol
Have a great weekend, my friend.
xoxo
Donna

A New England Life said...

No wonder George was scared! LOL! Glad he got over it though. I think he might be smarter than your husband. JK ; )

Another Sister said...

Maybe I need help as well because I find it very entertaining. And inspiring as well... I want some camp camperini camerisi campino... Tomato, mozzerella and basil with a touch of lemon oil and salt.

These Nine Acres said...

Hehe! I am glad I am not the only one that has conversations with my animals!

Snappy Di said...

I think you and your husband must have attended the same course on 'dog languages of the world' that we attended.

Chewy
Kong
GitYerBall
Hedgie
Fuzzy Thingie

Yep.. they all have names.

Di

Snap said...

I dearly love your drivel!!!! Way to go George!

Jeanne Walker aka Rileigh's Lolli said...

Let's see we have:

Tiger Bait
Gomer Pyle
Pinkie
Lammie
Bevo
Rope
Blue ball, tennis ball, pink ball
and
Bug....to name a few!

Let's all go to Deranged Manor together...what fun would that be!!!!

deborah said...

I read every word and was thinking how smart George is-since he knows mama is always right! I'm on my way to the home soon, should I save you a seat on the deck?

mrs mediocrity said...

Oh, that just made me laugh so hard. Our old dog used to have a gorilla, it made a really annoying gorilla sound, but he loved to make it scream. He had it for such a long time, and he knew when I said go get your gorilla exactly which toy I meant, and he would look for it until he found it. Gosh I miss him.

mrs mediocrity said...

Oh, that just made me laugh so hard. Our old dog used to have a gorilla, it made a really annoying gorilla sound, but he loved to make it scream. He had it for such a long time, and he knew when I said go get your gorilla exactly which toy I meant, and he would look for it until he found it. Gosh I miss him.

Mental P Mama said...

OMG!!! You were at my house, right?

Sweetpea said...

Heh CG, maybe if you're reeeeeally lucky, I'll post a photo of my dawg's favorite (at the moment) stuffed toy...a giant hedgehog - no kidding! - bigger than her whole head. We call it "giant hedgie". And it came complete with no less than 5 - FIVE - squeekers inside, in various parts of its body.

Heh George, ya jealous?!?!?!?

Lisa RedWillow said...

So very cute. I loved this. Had to smile and laugh.

Mary said...

ROFL. No, you are not crazy. Our cat has Mouse-Mouse, Teddy and Fishy. Their main attraction is that they contain catnip.

I may have to post about them soon... ;)

Barb T. said...

George is unbelievably smart, but aren't Borders supposed to be at the top of the class? Anyway, I love what you write about, and you can post about Maine in any capacity everyday, anyday!
Now, on to other matters. Wipeout! I can't watch it every week, because boyfriend thinks it is juvenile; oh well, girlfriend of said boyfriend is totally juvenile--I guess. I am on vacation this week without him, and I have secretly watched (the episode with the Ompa Loompa was hilarious!!), but my fave was the season opener blind date episode with Flounder and Ariel!! I laughed until I was crying! Both times I watched it!! Laughter is the best medicine, and anyway we can find it in this scary world is a bit of all right with me, too, Kate!!

Country Girl said...

Barb T: Wish I could respond to you but your e-mail isn't enabled. The two episodes you mentioned made us both laugh out loud. I cracked up this week when I saw that they had changed the big bouncy balls to soccer balls. Juvenile, I know. But hilarious.

Country Girl said...

And Charlotte (Another Sister) -- Are you drinking? WTH?

Jayne said...

Oh, thanks so much for making me laugh this morning Kate! I am sitting here still chuckling. This post is EXACTLY why we love you and come here.

Daryl said...

Not only did I laugh LOUDLY out loud, I clapped my hands and made Toonman listen as I read it outloud ... I could hear your voice so clearly ... per-a-grin .. oh my its a good thing I was wearing Pretends ... xox

Daryl said...

Oh and dont tell anyone but we often watch parts of that show but with the sound off .. its actually funner that way we think ... or maybe its the .. well ...

wildbanshee said...

Sheeta does that to she has a stuffed rabbit, she will always run get and shake it when I say "Kill the bunny". I also swear she can spell, I can say "I think she needs to go O U T, she will start running for the door. Now as for noisy toys she runs away from them. My little scardy cat.

Laura ~Peach~ said...

we love wipe out... and scary bird too! George is Brilliant :)

Caroline said...

That's just too funny! I do love George!!!

Fearless Nester said...

Oh I LOVE this story! Back when our rotty was still alive, we used to have fun with him distinguishing between his toy chicken and toy moose. We would tell him to go kiss the moose (or the chicken) and he would always know which one to go knock over from the end table. (His form of kissing.) I really like the name scary bird for his toy, I can picture how cute he must be when he hears you say it! ~Lili

Patty said...

Haha! I found your blog through another site who had you listed as a fave. I'm so glad I did!

Char said...

LOL yes, scary bird is right

of course the pugs love the 'bad sock'

Deborah said...

lol Im laughing Kate ..and you know why!!!
OMG yu're too funny!!

Deborah xo

Karen said...

Nah... we like ya that way :-)

My friend just adopted the most adorable baby girl puppy from a rescue group out of Georgia... her name is DAisy Mae and she spent her first night curled up in bed with my friend.. so happy to have a home. I put her on my newest post. Can you believe she was about to be euthanized? UNREAL!!

BTW.. we are looking into Maine vacations..thank you for the inspiration.

cottage farm villa said...

K a t e ~ I just have to say it....you are so damn funny!!!!!!!

and you are correct ~ they do have a HUGE vocabulary. Our Queensland was the same way ~ we could talk to her like we did a person. :) xo

Chambray Blue said...

So funny!! If you need help then I need it as well.... I can so relate to this post.

lifespassion said...

It might be drivel to you, but great stuff to read to me! We had a dog that also knew her toys by name. We would say, Ginger, go get you dinosaur, or mouse, or whatever it was, and I'll be darned if she didn't always pick the right one. Way to go George! Thanks for the fun!

Low Tide High Style said...

Well if you need help then I'm "round the bend" as the saying goes! And I like scary bird way better than it's proper name!

Kat :)

Carolynn said...

Love it. *grin* Communication is a wonderful thing.

The Japanese Redneck said...

I luv it. Write all the drivel you want as far as I'm concerned.

Oz Girl said...

I agree, hilarious. Hilarious drivel, if you must. ;)

Side note: my hubby loves to watch Wipe Out too. Whatever makes 'em laugh, it's well worth it.

Oz Girl said...

Well, my goodness, I'm glad to see that a FEW of your readers admitted to watching Wipe Out. :-P

A Scattering said...

This has a Lucy and Ethel ring to it.....

Jan's camera said...

This is SO CUTE. Scary bird, I love it.