So I looked into my photo files for years past and found this one from exactly three years ago today.
There was a time when I couldn’t even look at photos taken back then. I mean, I literally could not open up my files without feeling angry at the blows life had dealt my husband and me. But I can now. And we really did live in a beautiful place. Our house on the horse farm sat at the top of a hill overlooking the pond you see below. The pond attracted so many birds and it was an absolute pleasure to see every day.
For ten years, we lived on Northview Stallion Station, outside of Chesapeake City, Maryland. My husband held several different positions while there: broodmare manager, stallion manager, and then after his first surgery in 2004, maintenance manager. When I took this photo, we had no idea that within a few short weeks, my husband and another long-time employee would be let go. Just like that, with no warning. And we had no idea that within another few months, my husband’s brain tumor would recur and our lives would again change completely.
But hey, isn’t that what life’s about? Nothing ever stays the same.
This isn’t a “feeling sorry for myself” post. Please don’t get that impression. I am so glad for everything we have, for this beautiful day, and for all the love in my life. I can hear my husband outside with his new weed-eater and that makes me happy, too.
I wrote this post three years ago. I believe I felt the same way then.
Having a Zen moment with my green tea
Enjoy your weekends, my friends. I’m off to buy container plants to replace the pansies. I can’t believe how long these plants lasted this year ~ what a beautiful Spring we had here in Maryland.
36 comments:
Hello - am I the first? What a lovely post and a beautiful photo description of how we deal with life and it's surprises and the way to survive is to live in the present and appreciate the day. i so love your philosophy and I hope you know what a lift you give to your readers.
Enjoy your weekend Kate, from another Kate in Spain xxxx
I cant believe I didnt read you back 3 yrs ago it feels as if we've been friends for a lifetime ... we are so lucky, arent we?
i am glad that you can get thru whatever changes life throws you and still appreciate all the beauty and love you have. life in the manor house still brings US much joy as you share it...
That's a beautiful picture, K. I know you're fortunate to have what you have, but still--it's like living on the edge of a volcano--it has to be.
I've lived long enough to know that we never know what's going to happen, but I believe you must be one of the stronger women I "know"--and you live your life with grace. You still have a wonderful sense of humor and you reach out with a friendliness that's rare. I love that.
I have a way of letting life beat me down--you let it lift you on eagle's wings--I admire you so much for it. Your view is so much better from up there.
<><
Although leaving was a sad time, look where you are now.
You have some beautiful memories and making more every day. Those are the things we hold precious.
I understand your feelings because of a similar situation. I hope your husband continues to do well. And you too! It seems like you both enjoy life so much and now have time to visit friends and go places ... maybe the job loss was a blessing in disguise. (But I know how much it hurts at the time.)
We really have had a wonderful long spring this year. Seems last year it turned hot on us so fast.
Life is just a journey, isn't it, Kate? I never, ever thought I would live anywhere other than Arizona. Then I met David and it's been back and forth across the U.S. ever since. It's all been a learning experience and an adventure and certainly not one I ever planned. Just gotta roll with it.
Di
Some of this I remember you mentioning in previous posts....those were darker days.
Now you live in the light, and the photos you share are so beautiful.
You have such a beautiful outlook on life, and it shows.
Jen @ Muddy Boot Dreams
when one door closes another one opens...and such a lovely place you have now...
Isn't life interesting and changing and challenging and painful and joyous ....
Big believer that you can't appreciate the good times without having some bad times ... When I was just 4 years old I was struck down by a car on a highway ... survived .... but it made all the difference ...in who and what I became ....
Lovely post today ... Philly weather is superb also!
hi kate and george..i enjoyed reading this post...life does change...does it ever...changes here too...but thankful for all we do have...our little farmhouse...our garden...and most of all...our TEDDY!!!!
i enjoy coming to visit with you so much...always a pleasure for me...
give george a hug from teddy and me.
sending love,
kary and teddy
xo
So true - the only thing we can really count on is "change." And life does change - in so many varieties of ways. I'd never have dreampt I am where I am today. I'm not where I want to be - yet. But in the struggles I've found more peace - more joy - more love. Happy weekend.
Thank you all so much ~
C.G.
My heart goes out to you, Kate! Thank you for sharing your story and your beautiful photos with everyone!
Today is a an anniversary day for me, too~~one sad, one unfortunate. But it's a gorgeous day here in Portland and I'm going out in a few minutes to take photos and keep my spirits up!
We went through a similar time 7 years ago and relearned the truth in the old saw "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." During our 25 years together we've been through so much that there are times when Frankie and I feel as if we could bench press a bus!
Love this post... gratitude is the attitude here in blogland today :-)
From everything I've read, I have surmised that you are a very strong woman, and I'm happy to be one of your Followers. I say "never, ever, throw in the towel!" Cheers to you and your husband!
God never gives you more then you can handle and he has a plan for us...everything happens for a reason. I truly believe these things. You might be thinking it was pretty shitty your hubby had to get cancer and what was the grand plan with that....but we don´t always get answers to why God does things...we just have to have faith that he knows what he is doing.
Uff, that was deep from a gal who isn´t a die hard religious fanatic...huff!! But I have my faith and my beliefs...I´m just sayin..
Can imagine it was pure heaven to wake up with a view like you had on the horse farm, however, I think you are still in heavenly surroundings where you are now...your hubby´s little garden, the beautiful birds you photograph, squirrels your husband tries to out smart and the magnificent history in the home you live...yeah, I think you are pretty lucky to have lived on the beautiful horse farm but you are also very lucky to be living where you are now too I think!!
Ok, the very deep and wise Amy is heading to bed...hope your Saturday is as relaxing and delightful as mine has been :-)
Although we never know what tomorrow may bring, what a great post showing gratitude for the moments we have right here and now Kate. I loved reading about your impromptu tea sipping with your son in the midst of that tranquil setting. xo ~Lili
I remember this one!!!!
What a lovely place. I am truly sorry for the sadnesses you have had. Your post is a reminder to think of the good things when there are also bad ones.
oh, Kate.
I've been feeling a hole in my very soul not "being " here.
life with kids can be all consuming sometimes.. sigh..
you have been very missed.
this post? the very essence of a truly beautiful woman. you.
love you.
deb
Lovely post and photo ! I find from my own experiences of Lifes changes make us stronger ! Have a wonderful weekend!
This was a beautiful post. Your photos are beautiful... but what you say really speaks to my heart. Thank you.
You know I did a little backtrawl through your posts the other day - as I am a relative latecomer I wasn't fully aware of your early blogs and I loved learning more about you and your story. What a great record this is!!
♥
BB
And just look at all the GOOD changes, CG...and now there's 866 followers (wow) here on your lovely blog, which I luv to visit over & over because nobody tells a story quite like you...
;>}
Amazing~ I read whenever you post, and I had no idea. I am new to this blogging world, so I wasn't around if you posted about your life.
Todays post truly touched me. I don't know how your husband's health is, but I hope he is doing well.
My husband has brain degeneration that was diagnosed over 6 years ago. I have always said that I never questioned why our life was blessed for so many years... why should I question this. However, ironically I will say, that although I know God doesn't give us more than we can handle... it might have been nice if He had checked in with me on this one...
There are blessings every day. I see them in your blog, and I thank you for that.
so much has changed in three years...gosh, for the both of us. I tend to think now all changes were for the good as I try to find good out of of what God gives me.
Thanks for the recall...
a lot can change over any amount of time, its how we change from these things that really make us who we are. this photo is really surreal considering the background info or not. :)
how does that big heart of yours fit inside tiny you ? this was beautiful, kate......and no, nothing ever stays the same. xoxox
Always good to be able to look back - even if there is regret..there is also gratitude in your voice. Lovely!
This post was so moving to me, Kate. I, too, have places from my past that I almost cannot return to because of the pain of loss. Remembering back to when we didn't know what we know now is bittersweet. Living amidst a loved one's brain injury means we have experienced many losses--in terms of place, identity and relationship, to name a few. I wonder if the average bear can understand the concept of "loss of future"--but I am pretty sure you know what I mean. What draws me to you is your steady emphasis on the here and now, its beauty and its moments of grace. And your focus on "keeping on keeping on"--which I have found is the Right Thing in these circumstances. There is hope and goodness in staying in the moment. It really is all any of us has, when you get right down to it. Enjoy your memories and embrace your 'presents'. Carpe diem is a good motto.
With warm affection--mike
Dear Kate, this is just the post I needed to read today. First I want to thank you for your very kind words regarding my Gracie girl. Yesterday, I was having an awful time as we drove back from the beach. I began to dwell on the scene of arriving home after a week away and not seeing her big smile or seeing her rearing up like a horse and hearing her bark for joy. After reading this, I thought of all the times I did come home to her, of the many years she was granted, years beyond what I had expected. Add to that the years in which she brought to so many others happiness and comfort, especially my son who shares a similar experience to your husband. Thank God those two men are both here....and happily working in their yards. Bless the beasts and the children and YOU, and..... the cancer survivors. Your old photos? Beautiful images as always! xoxoxo
Life is good.
Beautiful sentiment here. Thank you for helping put things in the proper perspective.
You are so beautiful. And anything else I can think of to say sounds so trite. So I'll just leave it at that.
xoxo
A stunning view.
I'm glad you can enjoy your photos now. It's too pretty a place not to want to see over and over again.
Post a Comment