This doe doesn't have anything to do with this tale. She's an innocent who simply stirred up a memory today.
I took this photo of her with my old Sony Cybershot while visiting Shenandoah National Park last summer. The deer are pretty tame there, and if you've never been, you really need to visit the Skyline Drive that runs through the Blue Ridge Mountains next time you're in Virginia. But I digress.
I do that alot.
What this story is about has to do with the fact that we all do things that are just downright embarassing sometimes. And the memory I had today was no exception. Even though there wasn't anyone around to see, there COULD have been and then it would have been much worse . . .
A few years back, I was walking our former dog, Ralph, in the woods. Like George, Ralph was also a fine specimen of a border collie and he did love his walks. Although he was getting on in years, he still had a bit of a spring in his step. We were returning from a long walk and were still about a mile from our house. As anyone who takes long walks after drinking several cups of coffee knows, a person sometimes has to use the facilities. And when there are none to be found, we must make do in the woods. For the menfolk, this is easy. But we ladies have to find the right place. I quickly found my ladies room right next to a fence, at the edge of a stand of trees, but hidden. What I didn't know at the time was that I was actually right on top of one of the myriad paths that deer use regularly through the fields and the woods.
When I was finished, and still crouching down, I heard a crashing noise. It was getting louder and coming straight my way. I quickly thought about getting up and getting out of there, maybe backing into the trees, but in heaven's name, I'm glad I didn't. As I sat crouched (sorry for the mental picture, people) what happened next was shocking. A huge buck with a big rack BOUNDED right over top of me and went right over the fence and just. Kept. Going. It happened in an instant and probably took all of 5 seconds from the first time I'd heard the noise in the woods. And I had been sitting right smack in the middle of his path over the fence and he didn't see me until it was too late. If I had stood up, that buck would have crashed right into me.
I would have been knocked unconscious. Or killed!
And they would have found me there. With my jeans pulled down to my ankles.
I'm so glad I didn't stand up . . .
LMAO! I imagine the buck also had a pretty good story to share when he made it to wherever he was going!
I have a bathroom necessity story also. Here goes. I was at my Aunt Susans cabin in Almond North Carolina..miles from everything.. stopped at the post office to send some mail. Had to go # 2 immediately..asked if I could use the facilities but being a government building I was not allowed. I pleaded and was rejected. With many miles to the nearest place to go I had only one choice. I went back to my car and found a pair of underware that belonged to my Aunt Susan in the trunk..not sure why they were there but thank God they were. Took the wipe tools behind the building and left a very large deposit next to the post office. Take that US GOV.
Oh, good grief.
Acorn, I'm shocked.
I hope I have not begun a trend here. I simply had to pee!
OK, you and acorn both had me ROFL. And the word verification for my comment is "mukkcdop" which sounds kinda like what acorn did outside the post office. And it's 3 am here so I really should go to bed...
ROFLOLOLOL OMGosh! You both have me laughing out loud! Almost woke the family up!! I have a bathroom story but will have to wait until morning when I am a bit more wide awake to write clearly! Actually, I may even have a picture (not of me but of where...) LOL
For those who know me and haven't heard this story yet, stop calling my cell and my extension at work!
I'm kidding. I don't mind. I just can't really talk right now.
Geez, you can't make this stuff up.
What a story!!! Yes, thank goodness you didn't stand up!
Nice deer portrait here, too!
Hmmmm...add a little poison ivy toilet paper and your day would really be complete.
That is hilarious! I don't have any stories nearly that bad. Mine involve being in the military, peeing in the woods, and having guys (males) talking to you while you do it, and teasing you about coming around the tree.
Not really embarrassing at all!
Sorry that was me that deleted the comment above, it was meant for another blog. To many blogs going at one time.
Your story was too funny.
But I will tell you also like I told the other blogger great pictures.
...Hey girl! :o) Yeah, I'm glad you didn't get up either - that would not of been a good way to go... Not to mention what your family would of wrote in your obituary! If your family is anything like mine then that obituary would of not soon been forgotten! lol... ;o)
...Great photo but was this before you started Photoshop'n?
...Thanks for checking in - you are too kind! :o)
Glad to give everyone a good laugh. Welcome to My Wonderful Men. Glad you stopped by. Good to see you again, TJ.
Yes, this photo was before I learned a little Photoshop, but you can still do it on old pictures. This was taken with my old point&shoot, the Sony Cybershot (which is actually a pretty decent little camera). The photo was very light, though. So I helped it out some, and sharpened it up.
I am glad you did not die an ignominious death!!Some friends of mine went to Haiti on a mission trip resently. In this one mountain spot there were no facilities. So they both climbed to a ditch and proceeded to go--when they were part way done they heard some grunting. They looked further along in the ditch and there was a huge hog. She said if that hog had made one move toward her she would have been out of the ditch in a flash without her pants.
This makes me laugh. Lucky you didn't stand up and pee on your jeans. What a vision.
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